When people say, “Have a nice day,” or “Be happy,” do you want to punch them in the throat?
Perhaps, it’s just me…just kidding. Okay, half kidding.
As you know my mission is to increase the level of wellbeing, that is the state of being happy, healthy and wealthy, in our society. A society that only 7% of which claims to have achieved wellbeing in their lives.
Like the 93%, who struggle, I have struggled especially in the area of sustaining happiness.
It’s not that easy to just “be happy,” or is it?
During my life, I have been challenged by depression. I have needed meditation and even today struggle from time to time with that deep hollow feeling of depression for reasons I don’t understand. I know I’m not alone because my father, his father, several thousand of our readers and the millions upon millions of people out there also struggle with depression and symptoms related to depression.
I know many who are experiencing depression right now are going to be triggered by what I am about to say, but I have to say it because I know it to be true.
Depression, just like happiness is a choice. You can choose in every millisecond how you feel and reach for a higher feeling when you are feeling down.
Stay with me here. It goes something like this.
This is what I went through the day I was writing this article… On October 30th, 2013 my Abuella transitioned. I felt grief and powerlessness. Two of the lowest emotions we can experience. So I sat down to write about my feelings and cried a bit. Then I posted an entry on Facebook about what I learned from her. After this, I felt disappointed that she was no longer here and really missed her. Then someone commented on my post, that every time I remember my Abuella, her love is reignited in the world. That left me feeling hopeful that lifted my energy and gave me the energy to write this for you with a feeling of gratitude, which is one of the highest feelings we can achieve.
What I realize today that I did not realize when I struggled with depression, is I can reach for the next higher feeling emotion. I don’t have to stay stuck at the bottom and neither do you. Please don’t misunderstand me. Do I think you can go from feeling depression to joy in a matter of minutes? No, I don’t. I have been practicing and making the choice to feel better for over 7 years.
There’s a book I read as I began my recovery from Lyme Disease, which left me clinically depressed, depleted and disabled, that helped me with my longtime struggle and feelings of victim-hood, it’s called Ask And It Is Given by Abraham Hicks.
The book shares an Emotional Guidance Scale which goes like this:
Higher Vibe Feelings
1. Joy / Knowledge / Empowerment / Freedom / Appreciation / Love
4. Positive Expectation Belief
Lower Vibe Feelings
10. Frustration / Irritation / Impatience
19. Hatred / Rage
21. Insecurity / Guilt / Unworthiness
22. Fear / Grief / Depression / Powerlessness / Victim
Our job is just to reach for the next higher feeling until we get to the top.
I know it’s easier said than done. I also know it’s possible. I know because I do it. Realize this is a conscious choice you must make every minute of every day. It is not something we do one time. It takes practice. Yes, it is work, and yes, it is worth it.
How To Choose Happy and Go For That Higher Feeling:
- Take a deep breath. Taking a deep breath brings in new oxygen which helps your brain and body function better. When you feel a “bad” or lower feeling come on, start dealing with it by taking a breath.
- Take your time. Don’t feel pressured to give in to responding the way you always have to things. Just because you want to change the way you think and feel doesn’t mean it will happen immediately. Our old patterns and experiences are deeply ingrained. To experience true transformation we must let go of the old thought patterns that did not serve us and look for new patterns that help us feel better.
- Look at your options. We always have a choice and we must take responsibility for the choices we make. We can either react or respond to things through feelings of fear or feelings of love. If you want to feel good, I suggest the later.
- Reach up. After you’ve taken that deep breath and a moment to think and consider your options, you can start to resolve lower feelings about your situation and select higher better feeling about the situation.
Things that make us feel bad will happen. People will pass away, accidents will happen, people and situations will hurt our feelings, but you know…how we respond to those things is a choice. You can choose fear or you can choose love.
Seven years ago, I chose love and continue to do so each and every single day. Does that mean that I am always flying on high emotions? No. Things happen. Does that mean I get back on track quickly? Yes. Better things happen.
If you struggle with lower feelings that range from boredom and depression, check out the book, Ask and It Is Given by Abraham Hicks. Between the reading and activities, you will get back to loving the way you feel and clean up the sloppy thinking that keeps you in old thought patterns that don’t serve you.
Now it’s your turn. Share…
What’s your process to keep yourself from slipping into the darkness?
As always, I am here for you. Share your ah-has, comments, questions, and thoughts. Also, if you liked what I shared here, please pay it forward by sharing it with someone else you think may like it.
Until next time, take care of you.
Live with passion, purpose, and play.
Carmen M. Perez, Your Wellbeing Messenger
Personal Success Mentor
Growth ~ Marketing ~ Performance
Author, Motivational Speaker, Mentor, Mother, Wife, and Lover of Life
P.S. Would you like to get what you want and achieve the success you desire without sacrificing your health, wealth, and happiness? Enter your name and email address to receive the 11 Steps to Creating Priorities for Fulfillment and Meaning so you can stop living by default and start living by design.
Do you struggle to feel as happy on the inside as things look on the outside?
If you’d like to learn more about how to retrain your brain so you can choose happy more, Be a Spiritual Girl in a Material World: Achieve Radical Personal Success Without Sacrificing Your Health, Wealth, and Happiness.
In it I offer a new way to think about what is possible and how to get away from self-sabotaging behaviors and thoughts that disempower you.
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