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Forgiveness is the Gift We Give Ourselves

By releasing the pain and resentment we make a promise to ourselves to fully move forward and when we do we feel better. Holding on to grudges and clinging to betrayals and disappointments is bad for our bodies and minds.

Recently studies proved when we forgive those who have wronged us, it lowers our blood pressure, cholesterol, and heart rate. It also reduces levels of depression, anxiety, and anger.

So, is there a person or situation you would like to feel better about and could be helped by forgiveness? Explore these feelings and do it. Forgive. Be selfish. Do it for yourself.

Let’s talk about How to Forgive.  It is the first step to letting go of any anger, or feelings of heaviness, that get triggered by reliving the hurt mentally.

How to Forgive and Let Go

  1. Acknowledge why you are hurt and the allow the feelings that come because of it. No matter what the situation, how you feel is valid. Don’t stuff and ignore how you feel.
  2. When you are ready express the pain caused to the person who hurt you without yelling or attacking. Don’t yell, throw things, or bring up things you have already forgiven.  Moving forward is harder when you are dragging all of your baggage with you.
  3. Understand how and why the person and/or situation that hurt you unfolded. Was there a misunderstanding? Why would this person hurt you? Understanding what happened not only brings closure but allows you to truly receive the benefit of knowing, not assuming, what was thought, felt, or talked about.
  4. Protect yourself from being hurt again. Before you forgive, you need to know you will not be a victim again. What will make you feel safe moving forward? An apology, reassurance, distance or more boundaries. Whatever it is, ask for it.  Don’t assume the other person knows what you need.  Communication is key.
  5. Forgive yourself for your role. Take responsibility for any part you had in the situation that you want to forgive and forgive yourself for it. Like they say it takes two to tango…taking responsibility for everything in your life is critically important.  Think of what you could have done better to avoid the situation altogether.
  6. Decide how to handle the relationship moving forward. Do you want to reconcile and hope things will go back to the way they were, or get some distance?  Another option is to end the relationship completely.
  7. Let go and overtly forgive the person verbally or in writing. Actually saying or writing out the words “I forgive you,” is incredibly powerful and healing.

As always, thank you for showing up.  I love and honor you for the energy you put into your life.  Know I am here to support you in doing that.

As always, please share your comments, questions, and thoughts below, or by emailing me at Carmen[at]WellbeingMessenger[dot]com. I am here to help you create a life worth living so you can stop surviving and start thriving.

Until next time, live with passion, purpose, and play.

With gratitude,

Carmen Xx
The Wellbeing Messenger
Growth ~ Marketing ~ Performance
Author, Motivational Speaker, Mentor, Mother, Wife, and Lover of Life

P.S. Want to learn more about how to be okay with what is?  Click the button and get my FREE content-packed eBook, Let’s Get On With It | Survive Life’s Thriving Lessons.  In it, I share more about how to create a life worth living and get everything you want without sacrificing your health, wealth, and happiness.

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Be a Spiritual Girl in a Material World Book Cover MediumSeventy-seven percent (77%) of the population regularly experiences physical symptoms caused by stress.
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