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Do you feel guilty about not wanting to be around someone? 

It can be tough to move forward when the person who does things that don’t make sense and are hurtful but doesn’t see it or they see it and say, “Well, that’s just me. It’s the way I am.”

A difficult friend may look like…

A friend who doesn’t value you.

A friend who compares and competes with you.

A friend who is brutally honest.

A friend who is always negative.

A friend who uses you and your resources.

Each of these types of friends, or relationships, can make you just want to be done with the person and relationship, and nobody could blame you. But that doesn’t help us move forward, it just feeds our guilt.

Studies have found those with at least five people they can share their highs and lows, not only live longer. They have a better quality of life.

There is a Way to Move Forward with Difficult People

Our friendships are important, and that’s why they are worth the effort. They make us feel good and valued.

We must acknowledge how difficult it is for people with different experiences, cultures, and influences, to come together. We all have very lovable parts of ourselves, and not so loveable parts. Those “not so lovable’ parts are called character flaws. What’s important is we recognize we all have them. They are not part of who we are. They are habits. And just like any other habit, you can modify or completely get rid of it.

We have to ask,

If we keep throwing people away because of their character flaws,
how are we going to establish deep meaningful connections?

3 Ways to Move Forward with Difficult People

So, how do you move forward with difficult people?

Try again | Things happen, and when they do, we need to be able to put them aside especially if they are small and incidental. If a friend shows up a little late for lunch, or if they don’t return your call, don’t take it so personally. Ask them what is going on. If what happened isn’t a big deal, just let it go. Move forward.

Renegotiate | There are people who will step all over your boundaries. They push you and demand more and more of your resources. Have a sit-down. Tell them how you feel about your friendship and what you need from them.

I have found having these sit-downs honor my worthiness, which is completely the opposite of what relationships like this make you feel. Be forewarned. There are times where I have these conversations, then move on to letting go. When you can’t come to a mutual understanding, that’s when you know it’s time.

Let Go | When relationships are just not salvageable for one reason or another, it’s okay to let go. When you do, let go with love. There doesn’t have to be anger and resentment. There can be a common understanding that the two of you should not be very involved, if at all.

There are tons of reasons we keep difficult people around. I have my fair share, and I’m sure I’m one of those people for someone else. A fact we must accept and never forget. It’s the cycle of life. Stick with those who make you feel good, anything that doesn’t feel right isn’t.

How do you move forward with difficult people? I’d love to know. Please share your ah-has, comments, questions, and thoughts in the comment section below, or email me at Carmen@WellbeingMessenger.com.   I am here for you and I personally read and respond to all of my emails and comments. 

Also, if you enjoyed this article, please share it with a friend you think will enjoy it.  There are share links at the bottom of this post. Your share goes far and means the world to me and our mission. 

Until next time, live with passion, purpose, and play.

With gratitude,

Carmen M. Perez, Your Wellbeing Messenger
Personal Success Mentor
Growth ~ Marketing ~ Performance
Author, Motivational Speaker, Mentor, Mother, Wife, and Lover of Life

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